It doesn't look good

I had blood work done yesterday and it doesn't look good for our Speck. The test was positive but low. I was reading online and normal levels would be 25 or higher. Mine was 11. It looks like Speck tried hard, but just couldn't make it. They want to recheck on Friday and see if the numbers go up, but I KNOW what the result will be. I took a HPT on Tuesday and got a very light line. I woke up at 4 this morning not able to sleep and took another one and the line is gone. Unfortunately it looks like we were unsuccessful. I am devastated and angry. We have spent close to $10,000 on fertility treatments this year with nothing to show for it. Tim has sacrificed his motorcycle in our attempts and for what? A big fat negative. The planner is me wants to know what to do next. How do we fix this? The worst part is, we don't know. I just don't understand why. With all the prayers we have prayed and all the people who prayed for us, why was God's answer NO. I'm not ready to give up, but I do feel I need a break. At this point if I could just move to a deserted island and not have to be around anyone it would be great. I know I can't do that and what I need is the love, support and prayers of my family and friends.
I have not been the wife, mother, teacher, friend or child of God that I need to be. I let this consume me and obviously that didn't work so well. So, instead of working for another baby maybe I need to work on me. Where to begin? Hopefully God will guide me. Apparently I need some neon signs. Please continue to pray for me and my family.