Feeling down and not liking it!

I had a pretty good today, but I have just felt down all day. Yesterday was a hard day. It was Sunday and it's hard to be around everyone at church. It's hard because it just makes me think about Ethan more. It makes me think about all the things God is doing for me and it makes me cry. It's also hard because life keeps going even when my world has fallen apart. It's hard because we are in a class with young families who are still having kids. With every birth and every pregnancy announcement it's like someone just hit me in the stomach. I hate feeling that way. It's not that I am upset with the people who are pregnant, it's that I'm so angry it's not me. I'm frustrated that we have had to spend almost $30,000 to have a family. I am sad that we can't just do things the natural way. I'm sad that we can't just decide we want to have another baby and get to it. Our process has to involve medicine, shots and a really expensive doctor. I guess I am just feeling sorry for myself. Please know that if you are one of those people who is making that announcement that I am happy and excited for you. I am praying that you never have to experience what I have been through the last 3 weeks. Please know that you did not cause this sadness and PLEASE do not apologize to me. It's not your fault that I have been through what I have been through.
I know this is something that I have to deal with. Most of the time I can deal with it. I think I am just still so broken from losing Ethan. I know that I am supposed to consider it joy when I face trials because it means the strengthening of my faith, but it is so hard. To be really honest, I am not at the point of considering this joy. At this point, I don't know that I will. I am hopeful! I am trusting that God will use this to his glory. But right now, in this moment, I am hurting! It's a hurt that takes my breath away. A hurt that nothing will help. There's no medicine to cure it. There's no words that make it better. I know that it will get easier with time...at least that is what others have told me. I am just so tired of feeling so down.
So I guess for today, I am praying for joy. I am praying for God to show me the good in this situation and I am praying for me to get to make my announcement again soon.