I realize it has been a long time since I posted on this blog. I guess that is kind of a good thing. Mostly when I post on here I am feeling sad about losing Ethan or sad about not being pregnant...while I still have my moments they are not as frequent.
I have finally been able to find peace with where I am and what my family is. I love my kids and I am enjoying them everyday. They make me laugh and cry, they make me happy and sad and frustrated...as most kids do I am sure. I can't imagine missing out on so much of their growing up. While I wish with all my heart we had Ethan with us, I wouldn't trade this time with them for anything!
I still long for more children, but the more I talk with other moms who don't have fertility trouble, they long for more too. I think that is just part of being a woman. I still have the sinking feeling and inner turmoil with every "announcement" I hear of. I still wish I could be the one for once to have an "announcement" But, I try not to dwell on it and I just look at the two wonderful kids I have and I am reminded of how much God truly has blessed me with. I saw this posted on a friends' facebook status and just thought I would share...
God has a perfect plan for your life. No matter what’s happened in your past, God’s plan for your good remains. Get your vision in line with God’s Word, and the best is yet to come! “For God’s gifts and His call can never be withdrawn” Romans 11:29
I am so glad that God has a plan and that He is helping me through such a trying time in life! I can't believe that almost two years has gone by. I am amazed at how far I have come! Truly God has carried me through the darkest time in my life.