I have been having a hard time with some things lately. I love the age that Glade and Addison are at. They are so funny and most of the time so much fun. Like all kids, we have our moments together when nap time or bed time just can't come soon enough. So most of the time I feel content with my family just like it is. But lately I have been having a "feeling". I know God is trying to tell me something, but I don't think I am listening right or maybe I just don't want to truly hear what he is saying. I know I have posted many times about wanting to have more kids and more than likely adopt. Lately I just get a feeling that maybe God doesn't want that to happen. I SO don't want to hear that right now. I don't want to be done. But I also don't want to go broke...well more broke than we already are. Tim gets so stressed about money and the fact that we have none, to add another person to the family would just cost more. Not to mention the cost of getting to the point of adding another member to our family... either adopting or doing more fertility stuff.
This is one of the many times when I wish God would just sit me down with the "storybook" of my life and let skip a few chapters to see what is coming and then I could go back to this chapter and be okay with things. Do you understand what I am saying? How sometimes you have to read the end of the book to see the outcome and then you can read the whole thing.
Here are some scriptures I will be focusing on to help me trust that God is working and doing more than I can know.
18 But as surely as God is faithful, our message to you is not “Yes” and “No.” 19 For the Son of God, Jesus Christ, who was preached among you by me and Silas and Timothy, was not “Yes” and “No,” but in him it has always been “Yes.” 20 For no matter how many promises God has made, they are “Yes” in Christ. And so through him the “Amen” is spoken by us to the glory of God. 21 Now it is God who makes both us and you stand firm in Christ. He anointed us, 22 set his seal of ownership on us, and put his Spirit in our hearts as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come.
II Corinthians 1:18-22
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.
Let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled from an evil conscience and our bodies washed with pure water. Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful.